He knows the way!

Today, we had our in-home visit for the home study and turned in yet more paperwork, and this completes about 75% of our home study.  We still have a few items left like our third and final interview, our fire inspection, HIV and TB testing, and our son's physical, but we should have it all completed by the beginning of April.  Which also means we write another check for $800, totaling $1800 for the home study.   I am thankful we have almost completed this part, but as its completion nears, I find that I'm more anxious about the financial aspect this time.

When we adopted our son, we only had five weeks to get the process done and really didn't have too much time to think about any of it. It was also a private domestic adoption, so the expenses were far less than they will be this time. Plus, we had been saving for some time in preparation for having children.  This time, however, came as a surprise to us and the cost is significantly more, though I will say, not as expensive as international adoptions can be.

God showed us the first time when we were ill-equipped for an infant, that He knows our needs and provides for them according to His plans and purposes.  We had so many dear friends that helped us get ready for our son.  Many prayed and encouraged; friends and family gave us baby showers; one couple gave us a nice crib and changing table they no longer needed; others gave us a pack-n-play and a swing; some gave us a ton of clothes and a bassinet to use.

God provided then in a BIG way, when I was anxious that we wouldn't have all that we needed to take care of an infant.  Did we receive everything we wanted?  No, and praise God we didn't, because I was a first-time mom, so of course I thought we needed everything!  However, we did receive everything we NEEDED, and then some, and just in time to bring our son home!

To this day, we are so grateful for those people, who were so gracious and generous to help us and were so loving and supportive...they were a HUGE blessing to us!  Each one blessed us in their own way, whether through encouraging words or prayer or material things, and they became a part of our journey.  I firmly believe that God will bless them, too, for their efforts and their willingness to be a part of an adoption story.

Despite having seen this firsthand, there are days when I'm discouraged in this journey, when I don't know where the money will come from, when I doubt this is the path He has set for us, and the enemy loves to use my anxieties to get me down. Some wonder why people adopt when they can't afford to, and some days, I wonder that myself.  But then I remember Joshua.

It is no coincidence that my bible study time happened to bring me back to the book of Joshua.  Just before adopting our first child, during the days of fertility testing and waiting for a child, I was doing an in-depth study on Joshua.  The account of Jericho was especially comforting to me then, because I didn't understand where God was taking me on that journey or when the victory would come.

In Joshua 6, the Lord commanded Joshua and his men to march around the city of Jericho for six days, and then on the seventh day the priests were to blow their trumpets seven times. The people were told to shout once the trumpets blew, but not until that final moment.  After their shout, the walls of Jericho fell down, and the city was captured, without using any arms!

Now if I were among those people, I might have thought the whole thing were crazy.  But those people trusted the Lord, and they knew He was leading their commander, Joshua.  Though they may not have understood God's ways, they trusted that He was leading Joshua and them to a victory! That is how I feel now; there are days when I feel we're walking in circles (the adoption process can seem a lot like that!), waiting to hear the trumpets blow.

No, I don't always understand His ways, but I do trust Him, and I know He is the one leading this journey to victory!

The words I clung to then, and find myself clinging to now, are found in Joshua 1:9, when the Lord said to Joshua, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

Throughout the book of Joshua, the Lord repeatedly told Joshua to be strong, to not be afraid, and that He would never forsake him. When the Lord calls us to do something, He will not leave us there alone. He will work to accomplish His plans and purpose according to His will, and sometimes He chooses to do that work through vessels like us. We are simply to trust and follow Him as He leads us, even when we do not understand His ways, and the victory will come; not my victory or your victory, but HIS victory will come!

We believe God has confirmed that this is His path for us, and we know that because this is His plan, He already knows the way to victory.  Praise God, He already knows!!  We do not have to understand how it will happen.  We cannot do it through our efforts alone.  But we can and will do it through His effort and His will, through Him working in us and others who choose to follow His lead.

Would you prayerfully consider if God is asking you to walk in the circle with us :), waiting with us to hear the trumpets sound, and shouting with us for victory until the walls fall down?